Look closer: The bed has one more monster
and one fewer cats than it looks like.
These are thoughts on cats and beef jerky, not thoughts on cat and beef jerky. If you have only one cat, your mileage may vary, and you’ll understand why in a minute.
For that matter, if your cats are normal cats and not monster cats with laser x-ray vision, your mileage may vary. My cats apparently do have x-ray vision or else how did they know the beef jerky was in the pantry? I already knew about their laser vision because Buddy once tried to kill me for photographing him and Mr. Jinx in a compromising position. The accompanying photo remains, but the camera is toast.
In any case, I’ve learned several lessons about cats and beef jerky tonight, some good and some bad. I’ll pass them along on the chance that doing so may spare some poor cat loving soul from involuntary commitment.
Posted in Humor
Tagged fail, humor, life
It’s a digital miracle!
We aren’t doing the turkey thing here at Casa de Wyatt this year. In fact, we’re having a very quiet Thanksgiving dinner. The kids both have other families to spend the holiday with this year and will be doing their feasting somewhere else. I don’t know where and didn’t ask, I just know it isn’t here. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and am always glad to see them. I’m just thankful that they have happy and fulfilling lives that sometimes don’t include my wife and I. Especially when it involves days of preparation, a few hours of camaraderie, followed by days of clean-up.
We are having my in-laws over for dinner and probably would not be doing even that much except they live next door would be very disappointed if we didn’t invite them. So we are cooking, just not a feast. Of course, that didn’t stop my wife from doubling the recipe, and that’s where things first started to wrong.
What’s wrong with this picture? It was posted recently by a friend who I love and respect and who I was rather surprised to see casually tossing around the R-word.
“Wait a minute,” I hear you saying. “The R-word? Like it’s as bad as the N-word? Seriously?” Yes. “OK, hold on here. I say ‘retard’ but only to poke fun at people who obviously aren’t mentally impaired. It’s an exaggeration to make a point. Just like the joke in the image. But I would never use it against someone with a mental impairment. What’s wrong with that?”
Well, that’s one way to look at it. My friend’s take based on being on the receiving end of that slur was “None of those words bother me. They only have meaning if you let them.”
These responses are typical of those I get when I challenge people on their use of the R-word. “It’s OK to use,” the theory goes, “so long as I don’t use it against actual retards because, you know, it’s hurtful to them and I’m not a bad person.” Often those using the R-word report that they personally are not offended to be called a retard because they aren’t impaired and so they just disregard it. And if it’s OK to be called a retard, then it’s no stretch to conclude it’s also OK to call someone else a retard as long as the other person has neurotypical brain function. The reasoning there is that, because we are treating others in a way we ourselves don’t mind being treated, it’s OK. This is, after all, the essence of the Golden Rule so how can it be bad?
Wrong. I don’t use the R-word for all the reasons I’m about to explain. But I’ll make an exception this one time to illustrate the recursive nature of the term: Anyone who truly believes that using the word “retard” as a noun is OK in any context may be one. Bear with me, I’ll explain. Continue reading
As many of my followers already know, my wife is something of a technophobe. When we first met there were two constants in my life. The first was that if both she and some harmless liquid were within 20 feet of me, I’d get wet. If I was the type to cry over spilt milk, I’d have been suicidal within a month of meeting her. Fortunately, she has over the years become adept in the mystic arts of controlling household liquids. The other constant back then was that if electricity runs through it, doesn’t matter what “it” is, at some point it will break for her.