I Know I’m Supposed to Keep This a Secret, But …

The folks at Writer’s Digest have a fun writing prompt challenge each week to help people build their writing muscles.  They give you a prompt and you reply with ~500 words. Sounded like fun so I whipped up an entry.  Thanks to Lori at Word Balloon for giving me the idea to repost my own entries here.

The challenge that was in progress the first day I stopped by was:

The plane lifted off the runway and into the air. The person next to you turns and quietly whispers in your ear, “I know I’m supposed to keep this a secret, but I absolutely must tell someone.”

Man, I’ve been on a roll all day long. The old humor gene kicked into overdrive. Or maybe the stress of running late all day made me funny, I don’t know. But it started first thing this morning when I was checking out and dropping off my luggage. I had the bellman in stitches!

Then at the keynote speech I had written a joke to open. I didn’t even think it was all that funny but the crowd howled! Even during the serious part of the presentation they kept on chuckling. Almost inappropriately. Threw me off my timing and then I was late for the breakout session I was teaching. But even flustered and late, that crowd loved me too!

When I picked up my bags, the bellman from before brought out some of his friends and they were all laughing hysterically by the time I left. My taxi driver said I was the funniest customer he’d had in months and refused a tip! Can you believe that? What taxi driver refuses tips? Said he didn’t have the heart. Like I said, man I am on a roll today!

My meeting was across town and I ended up late for that too. I thought that would throw me off my game but I had my clients rolling in the aisles. This meeting wasn’t supposed to be funny, there was a sale at stake. A sale I lost. Still, I ROCKED today! So what if I lost the sale? I may just give up my day job and go on tour.

At the airport the gate agent was almost in tears. When I asked if any upgrades were available she’d said “Oh we’ll make room for you in the first row, right behind the cockpit. And I’ll tell the pilot to stop by and say hello.” It’s true, you really do catch more flies with honey. Free first class upgrade just for being funny!

Now, I’m settled into my seat and can finally relax for the first time today. I hope they’ve got food because I haven’t stopped to eat or even take a leak since I woke up twelve hours ago. I’m starving and as soon as they close the door, I’m gonna hit the head. But until then, why is this lady next to me not amused? Okay, with the gray hair tucked under that pillbox hat she looks a bit too refined and proper to be my usual audience. But not only isn’t she laughing at my jokes, she won’t even look me in the eye.

The door closes and I decide to stop trying to win her over and go take that long awaited restroom break. I’m in the window seat so I press my butt against the bulkhead and slide past facing, but not crowding her. Right when we’re face to face – or in her case face to crotch – she stops me with a wave.

“Young man?” she asks in a confidential whisper.

I bend over to her. “Yes?” I whisper back.

“I know I’m supposed to keep this a secret, but I absolutely must tell someone and it might as well be you. Your fly is open.”

“What?”

“Aren’t you a little old for Barney the Dinosaur?”

About T.Rob

Computer security nerd. WebSphere MQ expert. Autist. Advocate. Author. Humanist. Text-based life form. Find me on Facebook, Twitter, G+, or LinkedIn.
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