I beheaded a duck this morning.
In fairness, it was a statue of a duck and not a live duck. I thought that fact would perhaps warrant less disappointment from my wife. I’m not at all sure that it has.
I’m going to repair the headless duck and that has required fabrication of a rig to clamp the head in place while the cement dries. We now have a badass SMBD duck statue that looks like it should be whipped and dominated by some another duck. Just like in real life if you’ve ever seen them mate, by the way. My mention of this element of authenticity also failed to go over well.